Diva Las Vegas Baby

I feel compelled to write an entry today, even though I have nothing specific to really relay. My time here in Vegas has been consumed by my pregnancy lately - only 8 more days until my due date. I seem to write about the weather lately when I think of Vegas. Incidentally, we've been having a rain spell for the past two days and it is marvelous - cloudy, chilly, with a fresh rain smell permeating the air, I love it. My husband is fighting a cold, which I think I may be starting to get, so I've got to be careful and rest. Unfortunately, I am not in the resting mood right now, I feel like I've got to keep busy before the baby arrives. I've entered the nesting zone, where you just want to organize and clean and you have all this energy. My Lamaze teacher advised against giving into the nesting instinct and instead saving up the energy for imminent labor. But it really feels good to accomplish things that I've been too tired to tackle and have been putting off.

What a nice day out here in Las Vegas! The temperature is moderate, just like Autumn in NY, and the sun is shining intermittently through cloud clusters which make for a nice moody ambience, and there's just enough nip in the air to require a light sweater. I took Brooklyn out for a walk and actually sat down on the bench to enjoy the outdoors, which is unusual for me. Lately my walks have been short and to the point - Brooklyn does her stuff, I head back in. Not today. And it occurred to me that Autumn is my favorite season; something about it makes me so nostalgic. Perhaps because my birthday is in Fall, and the start of school, and Halloween, and candy and cookies and the color orange and the beginning of coats and corduroys, and all that good stuff. Autumn, I think, is more of an adult season that requires an adult sensibility to fully appreciate (I could be wrong). If you asked a kid what their favorite season was, more often than not, the answer wasn't Autumn. Spr

So, tonight, after watching the show, I packed up my belongings from my dressing room, since my time at the theater will be limited after the baby arrives. All of my family photos, my costumes, my toiletries, my language books, notebooks full of notes - two years of my professional life in Vegas packed in a duffel bag, a shoe box, and a Koi plastic bag. It was sad, the beginning of the end. Which is so disappointing because the show is so good and so much work went into it. And since no one has started packing yet, I felt a little bad being the one to start it off, as if to rip off the rose-colored glasses and shine a ray of harsh reality in everyone's eyes. But, I'd rather do it now; it will probably be too emotional and sad to pack when everyone else is packing at the same time, closer to our end date. I am predicting tears.

Well, I knew when we moved out here that it wouldn't be a permanent move, and it looks like our return to the East is becoming more visible on the horizon. Our show has to move out of the casino first week of January and we do not have a new home as of yet. And it doesn't look like a new home will be available until a year from now. Which is too long to wait around. So, looks like we'll be moving back to NY in late winter, early Spring. And as much as I've written about missing NY and about my difficulty in accepting Las Vegas as a nurturing place to set up home, there are definitely things about our life out here that I will miss. The slower pace, less pressure, the people at work, the driving, the space, the mountains, the milder winters - in lots of ways it has been a real sweet ride. Looking back, I wish I could have been in a less preoccupied, more open and engaging state of mind when we first moved out here, perhaps my transition here would have been a bit ea

My son will spend his very first years under a Black US president. This will be his "normal" and it won't occur to him to think that this is unusual. If he ever thinks to himself, "When I grow up, I want to be President," he will see the face of a Black man and know that being President of the USA is a completely viable aspiration for him. Tonight, as President-Elect Obama gave his speech, I couldn't help but think of all the people who gave their lives over the past century so that tonight could be a reality, a reality for all of us, a reality for our children; God bless them. God bless us all.

There are quite a lot of friendly people here in Las Vegas, and I just wanted to say that I really appreciate that. There are the people who just smile and say, "hi" because it's a new day and that's what you do, people who strike up a conversation with me because I am pregnant and they want to know when I am due and genuinely share in the excitement of a new baby. There's the community of dog walkers in the complex who know Brooklyn and my husband better than they know me - anytime I end up walking Brooklyn and meet up with a fellow dog-walker, they know Brooklyn well before they know who I am, asking me, "Is that Brooklyn?" - I guess she looks different without my husband attached to her leash! Brooklyn is still a very popular pup. Me, on the other hand, not so much, lol. And these are the things that add a delightful touch to the daily grind (which is hardly a grind for me - I am enjoying the laid-back lifestyle we've got going here in Vegas)

Brooklyn getting her beauty sleep. Happy 2nd Birthday, Brooklyn!! October 3, 2008

The cricket is the cockroach of Las Vegas - that is from the perspective of a New Yorker. Crickets are everywhere and somehow they even end up inside, be it the inside of the apartment building or in my apartment - not too often, but nonetheless, sometimes, there they are. And sometimes they are alive and sometimes they aren't, and when they aren't, that makes me nervous - did I unknowingly step on a live cricket with my bare feet? Or perhaps they met their unfortunate fate in the jowls of Brooklyn? At any rate, what is funny about this is that I don't freak out about seeing a cricket in my apartment, as opposed to how I HATE seeing cockroaches indoors, or outdoors for the matter. Cockroaches are nasty whereas crickets are outdoorsy and natural, so I don't have the same aversion to them, which makes NO SENSE at all, both are insects that shouldn't be in anyone's apartment. I guess it's all in the perspective.

Okay, why is Vegas obsessed with 80's music? It is everywhere you turn, in the casinos, on the radio. It is so weird to me. Is it an attempt to relive the decadence of the decade of excess, subliminally encouraging people to spend, spend, spend? Are they targeting the Generation X-ers? It seems like a lot of younger people are out here, people who were toddlers when Madonna was slithering on the stage floor in a bridal gown. I mean, don't get me wrong, some of those songs were GREAT; others I could have done without back in the 80's even. But it is hard to get nostalgic about hearing 80's music when you hear it every waking moment! I guess I know where to have my 25th High School Reunion - and we won't have to pay a DJ!

Since my pregnancy, I've found great comfort in cozying up in my bed and watching a DVD (to either watch or fall asleep to). Right before the pregnancy, I discovered a wonderful independent film club, Film Movement, which has definitely come in handy. For only $15 a month or so, you get a DVD of an acclaimed independent film in your mailbox, once a month, to keep. And the films have been pretty good so far (I've received 6 films so far). The films come from all over the world, including the US, and tend to be somewhat misty and emotional or melancholy, but still engaging. One night, I settled into bed, our portable DVD player by my side, popped in the latest DVD and was completely shocked when I saw my Mom's name in the credits for casting (The Choking Man)!!! How thrilling!! Check out Film Movement .

Tonight we saw Bette Midler live at Caesar's Palace. It was a thrill to see someone of her legendary and diva status, and she was endearing and adorable and saucy and funny. It was also cool to see a bit of classic Las Vegas with the Showgirls and the glitz, and all without the spectacle and tricks and gymnastics that have become commonplace in Strip entertainment. However, my husband, while he did enjoy seeing Miss M (as she likes to be called), found himself embarrassed by it all, the misogynistic aspect of finding entertainment in scantily clad girls kicking in unison, the fact that as part of our entertainment history the Showgirl phenomenon was once thought of as a good gig (and apparently still is), completely dictated by male desire and appetite, and also the fact that at 62 (and she looks marvelous), even Miss M still has to perpetuate it in her stage show. On the other hand, there were still parts of the show that clearly showcased her zaniness, and perhaps the Showgirls

I keep marveling over the fact that there are hummingbirds out here in the desert, and my sightings have been many. I used to see a hummingbird over at the apartment complex where we first lived in Vegas, and now I see a hummingbird almost daily at our current complex. I never thought I would see one in person, I always associate hummingbirds with assigned television watching for science class. But they are truly amazing, the way they hover, almost stationary amidst a blur of flapping wings. It would be funny if the hummingbirds I've seen have actually all been the same solitary hummingbird all along, and it followed me from my old complex to our current one!

Well, as anyone who reads this blog probably knows (and with my prolonged absence from blogging, there may not be anyone reading my blog anymore) - I am PREGNANT! I am due around December 5th, I am now 15 weeks, and I am ecstatic. The first trimester was a little anxiety-ridden, what with my exceptional talent for worrying. But I think I am a little better at calming down and relaxing and have even allowed myself to actually enjoy this journey towards motherhood. I am really beginning to show, which is fun. And I am enjoying being able to eat whatever (well, for the most part) and not feel guilty. I do wonder about how my body will change, partly from the pregnancy, but also from the fact that I won't be performing for a bit - what will happen to my muscles? I am definitely tired, a lot, but as anyone who knows me can attest, I love to sleep, so there you go. I am determined to get as much sleep as I can now, because who knows when I'll enjoy the comforts of a deep slumbe

I've been so remiss in keeping up with the blog. Daily life has taken over and I guess it is time to update, and fast!! My husband is back at work, after his car accident put him out of the show for 3 months, and it is great to have him back because the show isn't the same without his energy and presence and playing. And I mean no disrespect to anyone who plays the same role as he does, we all bring something special to the table, it was just that my husband's absence was definitely felt. We renewed our lease for another 6 months, hooray, because I was afraid that we were going to have to look for new digs, and that is just not fun. It is getting hot out here, only April but feels like June in NY. Not looking forward to the debilitating heat, I can tell you that. If you're looking for me, I'll be by the AC. Brooklyn is fabulous, she's got a pre-summer cut, and she's mellowed out a bit, but still has her dynamic and playful personality. She's reall

I wrote a couple of drafts, one in January and one in February, to cope with the difficult time I've been having out here in the desert, but for some reason, I couldn't finish either draft, and by the time I sat at my desk again to continue my diatribe, weeks had passed. I've re-read the drafts and I don't feel the need to publish them: in a nutshell, both drafts just elaborate on my disappointment in Vegas as a city and the fact that 2008 has proven to be a difficult year, with my husband's horrifying car accident, my Dad's show closing, and just good old stress. I think it may be time to usher in a truce with Vegas - I think. Or at least I'll try. And I want to remember and share a wonderful morning I had not too long ago. I had just finished registering our new car and I decided to take the local route home instead of the highway. It was unseasonably warm (although maybe for Vegas it was seasonably, I still think I'm in NY sometimes when gauging